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THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS Excerpts from Questioning
Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective by Ronald Goldman,
Ph.D.
I had profound doubts about my decision [to
circumcise]. But because open discussion of Brit Milah seems to be
discouraged in the Jewish community, I experienced my doubts
privately and without comfort. . . . Thus, a rite intended to
inspire feelings of Jewish unity evoked in me a sense of loss and
alienation.
If a woman is made to distrust her most basic
instinct to protect her newborn child, what feelings can she ever
trust?
My tiny son and I sobbed our hearts out. . . . After
everything I'd worked for, carrying and nurturing Joseph in the
womb, having him at home against no small odds, keeping him by my
side constantly since birth, nursing him whenever he needed
closeness and nourishment-the circumcision was a horrible violation
of all I felt we shared. I cried for days afterward.
I have
never heard such screams. . . . Will I ever know what scars this
brings to your soul? . . . What is that new look I see in your eyes?
I can see pain, a certain sadness, and a loss of trust.
I've never even talked about this before-I thought I was
the only one who worried about it.
I heard him cry during
the time they were circumcising him. The thing that is most
disturbing to me is that I can still hear his cry. . . . It was an
assault on him, and on some level it was an assault on me. . . . I
will go to my grave hearing that horrible wail.
The screams
of my baby remain embedded in my bones and haunt my mind. . . . His
cry sounded like he was being butchered. I lost my milk.
I
knew that this was a terrible mistake and that it was something that
no one, especially newborn babies, should ever have to
endure."
CIRCUMCISION IS A WOMEN'S ISSUE
The
maternal instincts and experiences of women uniquely qualify them
for the important responsibility of caring for infants and
protecting them from pain and harm.
Research demonstrates
that women are generally more sensitive than men to the needs and
feelings of infants, and newborn infants recognize, prefer, and are
more responsive to their mothers.1
Generally, because they are not
themselves circumcised, females are not subject to the personal
psychological motivations of circumcised men to perpetuate the
practice (e.g., "I want him to look like me").2
According to a recent study,
circumcision can adversely affect female sexual enjoyment.3
Any adverse psychological
consequences of circumcision on males may adversely affect
male-female relationships.4
Because of the prevalence of circumcision in the United States, some
potential adverse psychological effects of circumcision on males
(known/unknown) may have indirect adverse social effects on
women.5
Mothers sign the
majority of hospital circumcision consent forms.6
NOTES
| 1. |
Frodi, A. & Lamb, M., Sex Differences in
Responsiveness to Infants: A Developmental Study of
Psychophysical and Behavioral Responses, Child
Development 49 (1978): 1182-8; Bushnell, I., Sai, F.,
& Mullin, J., Neonatal Recognition of the Mother's Face,
British Journal of Developmental Psychology 7 (1989):
3-15; DeCasper, A., & Fifer, W. Of Human Bonding:
Newborns Prefer Their Mothers' Voices, Science 208 (1980):
1174-1176. |
| 2. |
Goldman, R. Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma.
Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997, 43-45. |
| 3. |
O'Hara, K & O'Hara, J., The Effect of Male
Circumcision on the Sexual Enjoyment of the Female Partner,
BJU International 83 Suppl. 1 (1999): 79-84. |
| 4. |
Goldman, R. Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma.
Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997, 124-148. |
| 5. |
Goldman, R. Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma.
Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997, 151-171. |
| 6. |
Bean, G. & Egelhoff, C., "Neonatal Circumcision: When
is the Decision Made?" Journal of Family Practice 18 (1984):
883-887. |
© Jewish Circumcision Resource Center.
All rights
reserved. |